Thanks and Sorry…

Dear New York Folks,

 

Is someone still waiting for me? If so, thanks and sorry…

This is Jiwon, and my previous writing was perhaps on May 6.

My delay had nothing to do with their CSO’s New York concert.

It had nothing to do with your unreasonable admiration for Wagner.

1.

I was sick. Well, I am OK except…

It hurts my eyes, thanks to too much talking and computer work.

I need to build more muscles to reach my destination before Maestro Furtwangler shuts his instruments into his cage.

Everybody’s favorite exercise doesn’t work for me, of course.

After finishing my previous writing, I had to experiment on another way to cure my sore eyes and happened to find more effective way. As usual, I stuck to my theory and the only result was my from-hoarse/cracking-to-hellish voice. So, happenings again…

Finally, after suffering from the most painful migraine headaches and then Achilles-tendon problems, this is the first morning with my not-so-painful eyes. I am still not sure if it also works for my instrument, though.

I still wonder. Is there an ophthalmologist who can diagnose my case?

2.

I will write. And this will be my last one. Which means…

In a normal case, I will have to quit all those useless acts, from listening to the radio to reading the articles. Which means…

After finishing my last one, I will have to let all my beautiful American memories vanish into thin air. In America, I met all kinds of dirty humans. At the same time, however, some Americans offered me perhaps the most valuable moments.

This was/is in fact my only experience throughout my entire life.

If I fail to receive what I want, I don’t deserve what doesn’t belong to me. To survive my practical life here, therefore, I should let it go… forever.

So, is it just my greedy wish if I want to hold it for couple of more days before throwing it into the trash can?

I will write, anyway.

For one month, I could do nothing.

But still… I can never write my only thing without squeezing out the pus from all those dirty memories which are getting more and more clear in my brain.

Honestly speaking, reading your music articles about any orchestra performances were literally headache in recent days, and I could never figure out what was going on during the concert. It just sounds like “The Art of Language”, instead of “The Art of Criticism”.

However, your other stuffs were getting better and better, and some of your works just hooked my attention.

They were terrific!

I hope… there were someone who could pick up the reason of my writing. 

Before going to America, I met one musician.

To be continued…

P.S.: To write these messages, I have to use Excel program, which provides a black skin and is protecting my eyes. So, I am not sure if this is a proper format for you. I have no other options. Sorry.

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