Edward Said & DB

(Originally written on November 29, 2006)

Dear New York Folks,This is Jiwon.

I am trying to change my embouchure. Or nothing will work to cure both my sore eyes and this deadly feeling on my neck and shoulder. It’s very difficult to remember all the rules, and I dare not to turn on the computer whenever it “really” hurts my eyes. I remember an interview by one musician’s wife, who was joking about her man’s stubbornness to wear his 10-year-old clothes on the stage. He looks in rags, but there is nothing she can do. For years, this joke has been tickling my ears whenever there is no choice but to wear IT to go out. If he couldn’t play without it, I just hate to wear it for exactly the same reason as his. Now, I need to buy IT. Or it will cost a lot to be hospitalized before I die. Even before I finish this writing. I still hate IT, though.

I feel guilty about yelling in this house whenever… Are they wrong? I try not to yell, and then I want to kill those who never accept my American life. I feel guilty again. Since committing suicide will only put this family to shame, who is generous enough to kill me? What about using a gun? I will start my planned life as a ghost. I just want to check if they still feel nothing even when their kids experience exactly the same thing as I did. If their hearts weep, I will do the same thing to their grandkids and grand-grandkids until they return my lost life, so that the rumors spread all over the world and no one would ever dare to model after their fucking behaviors. If they prove no heart, those human species should be extinct. My reason is clearly different from Hitler’s. Who will blame me? If my heart is like this, what about Palestinian ones? What if those suicide bombers selectively kill their enemies only?

I’ve been reading my previous writings. What a headache… If it gave my own head this kind of pain, what about others?

Story 1: Jacobs Theory

Story 2: Who is my teacher?

Story 3: What am I?

Story 4: Things that I can not understand.

4-1. How many “talented” musicians have I encountered since You-Know-When? I met some, for sure. What happened to them? What happened to me?

4-2. How many “shit-like” musicians have I encountered since You-Know-When? What happened to me? What happened to them?

4-3. Hans Knappertsbusch and Heldentenor

4-4. Musicians’ perfect pitch

4-5. Dale Clevenger’s questionable behaviors

4-6. Zubin Mehta and Matthias Glander

Story 5: Daniel Barenboim

5-1. Things that I can not understand : (Divans)

5-2. What specific did Barenboim pick up from my previous writings?

Story 5+: Something German… whatever

Story 5+: Furtwangler: Barenboim’s biggest secret in the Staatsoper – its depth and weight. This was exactly how I started my Furtwangler writing, in which I explained why Barenboim’s thick sound never had the same result of Furtwangler’s thick one. Especially from the moment it is created… Then I also wrote what specific in Barenboim’s pianism had destroyed cellist du Pre’s music-making. So sick of this kind of depth and weight. Who will be the first one in Milan to follow Barenboim’s depth and weight?

Story 5+: Something Jewish : … then Barenboim is naïve. Barenboim’s music tells me so, because when he plants trees, he never knows how to map out the forest. He even doesn’t have a concept of what kind of forest he is dreaming, just planting all different kinds of trees with a tireless brain jammed with all their names. Ten years later, the result is not a beautiful forest but a thornbush overgrown with weeds. Is it naïve, or stupid? Workaholic can not be an answer.

Story 5+: A mystery of Dmitri Bashkirov, the BPO, and the Jerusalem Chamber Music Festival

Story 5+: Du Pre / B*tch / Zukerman

Story 5+: Wagnerian Divas and Waltraud Meier

5-3. Who I think Barenboim is.

Barenboim’s musical taste reminds me of mine while young… When is when Barenboim is ON, and when is when Barenboim is OFF? Does Daniel Barenboim know when his music is OFF? -> Story 5+: Bruckner

Frankly, I don’t need forumites’ opinions, for I already know the reason. I just need those, because it was the only way to prove my identity, including your diagnosis of my mental illness, when no one in your professional group knows how to understand the nature of my study. I don’t need old recordings to study music, for I already know the reason while listening to the modern music. However, I must say that some of their writings are so brilliant, so hilarious that it gives me a mental pleasure. Another good choice for the indoor pastime. At the same time, while reading those writings, I am thinking that I have to study more, just to understand their intelligent debate. Whatever… their debate still lacks couple of technical things. Why no one still mentions this, especially while comparing Barenboim with Furtwangler or even Solti?

JIWON:

Did I spend time to write this…? The only valuable thing was my collection of forumites’ notes to remember Astrid Varnay. So, I want to finish this Barenboim Part with a simple question.

Before writing this, there is still one more thing that I am forced to write; late Edward Said.

When Edward Said passed away, this sad news however relieved my worries that the holy marriage between the politician Barenboim and the musician Said would no longer destroy Chicago music scene. As predicted, Elena Bashkirova became the chief beneficiary of his funeral, and her Divan members are following her footsteps. What should my heart do when my ears constantly reject their musical relationship but my brain whispers me that I wouldn’t be able to survive if I don’t accept him? Even after his funeral, I tried to know more about him.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/16/books/review/16rothstein.html?_r=1&oref=login ‘On Late Style,’ by Edward W. Said (Review by Edward Rothstein)

JIWON: I tried to read it whenever… What a headache! I just hate the department of musicology.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/16/books/chapters/0716-1st-said.html First Chapter, ‘On Late Style’ By EDWARD W. SAID

JIWON:

Another headache… In my case, music should approach me as something simple. Does it sound like music or not? Do I feel music or not? Does it sound better than pop-music or not? After years of my fruitless efforts, I only want to spend time on “memorizing” music history, and “understanding” more about musical notes: Who lived when and why? What do which notes sound like? First of all, music history is not only the composer’s story but the performers’ one, and I want to know more about my predecessors, the female musicians. Furthermore, where are all those wonderful names of legendary orchestral members, starting from Furtwangler’s bassoon?

Hence, I wanted to read Re-read Edward Said edited by Kim & Oh, pp. 367. But when do I have time?

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/entertainment/news/20060611p2a00m0et010000c.html Director retraces footsteps of Palestinian thinker in new documentary: “It always made him sad that despite his writings, and despite his massive popular following, and all his admirers, he always felt kind of inadequate because he hadn’t changed things on the ground,” Said’s son, Wadie, says

JIWON: Then one day, I read this article. It caught my eyes, for it was kind of what I needed in order to understand Edward Said… as a real friend of Daniel Barenboim, if he really were. For years, I was hoping to find this kind of information from the Divan Members. I remember couple of Palestinian youngsters said that, and they soon disappeared from Barenboim’s son’s ensemble partners, namely Divans. Suddenly, I felt alive and wanted to lean forward.

To be continued…

Sincerely yours,

Jiwon

P.S.: I am still working on it. I actually finished this “Said” part, but I don’t think I can finish this whole thing in a couple of days. So, I am sending this first. Its ending part will be like this:

If Daniel Barenboim yields all my demands, I will finish my other parts and then contact

Yigal B. Caspi, Ambassador of Israel

Ambassador’s Office: 503 (Ext#), ambas-sec@seoul.mfa.gov.il

Consular Section: 512 (Ext#), cao-sec@seoul.mfa.gov.il

18th Fl., Cheonggye11Bldg., 149 Seorin-dong, Jongro-gu, Seoul 110-726

Republic of Korea

TEL (02) 3210-8500 / FAX (02) 3210-8555

Will the voice of Israel say that I am a nutcase?

We’ll see.

(Originally written on December 11, 2006)

Dear New York Folks,

Fuck! Fuck… Every Sunday, I am sleepy. I have to sleep until I feel something. I want to sleep whenever I am sleepy. I know this is the only choice left. Another tired, hysterical, and dead week until next Sunday… I will work hard. I will walk hard. I will change my embouchure hard. I won’t check it until I finish it. http://www.nytimes.com/pages/arts/music/index.html Bye.

This is Jiwon.

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/entertainment/news/20060611p2a00m0et010000c.html Director retraces footsteps of Palestinian thinker in new documentary: “It always made him sad that despite his writings, and despite his massive popular following, and all his admirers, he always felt kind of inadequate because he hadn’t changed things on the ground,” Said’s son, Wadie, says

JIWON: Then one day, I read this article. It caught my eyes, for it was kind of what I needed in order to understand Edward Said… as a real friend of Daniel Barenboim, if he really were. For years, I was hoping to find this kind of information from the Divans. I remember couple of Palestinian youngsters said that, and they soon disappeared from Barenboim’s son’s ensemble partners, namely Divans. Suddenly, I felt alive and wanted to lean forward.

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=10&categ_id=4&article_id=72982 A series of profiles against a moving landscape: “Said created a place for Palestinians – a concept of Palestine – in the study of world literature. [Said believed] intellectuals shouldn’t collude with authority. That’s why he fell out with Arafat,” says Khoury.

http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2003/658/fr2.htm Funeral service for Edward Said: Bahnan’s sermon expressed (Said’s) wish that, one day, when Palestine emerges from the affliction of occupation, Said would be buried in Jerusalem, his rightful resting place… Said’s son, Wadie, gave a poignant speech. The piano played again, followed by Najla Said, the scholar’s daughter and an actress by profession, reading one of her father’s favourite poems… All were united in the sense of loss that the absence of Edward Said entailed. However, Arab students like myself, who came to the US in search of that small oasis of academic freedom that Edward Said so brilliantly guarded, felt like orphans confronting an uncertain future. The same could be said of Arab- Americans in general: with Edward Said’s death, the Arab presence in the United States has lost even the small margin of articulate self-assertion that he provided. This has happened at a time when that margin of self-assertion is more needed than ever.

http://groups.google.com/group/WorldSocialForum/browse_frm/thread/59b1ab269594443b/ed949979640ca931?lnk=st&q=Najla+Said&rnum=3&hl=en#ed949979640ca931 This is a gripping piece written by Najla Said, daughter of the late Edward Said. Having met Najla several times, I had realized that she had inherited her father’s beautiful features and elegant frame, after reading this piece it becomes obvious that that is not all she has inherited from him. A remarkable young woman.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.activism.progressive/browse_frm/thread/cd241bf35b02fb19/216a2741450d1cf3?lnk=st&q=Najla+Said&rnum=1&hl=en#216a2741450d1cf3 (July 22, 2006) Do People Know How Much We Hurt? By Najla Said: And now I’m here in an internet cafe in Damascus. And what now? This is what I think of when I think of Arab terror. My terror. Our terror. Do people know how much we hurt? [Najla Said is a founding member of Nibras, the Arab-American theatre collective. Najla is an actress, comedian, and writer whose work has appeared in such publications as Mizna, an Arab-American Literary Journal, and HEEB magazine.]

JIWON: I remember that Said’s son once took part in Barenboim’s Divan Festival as a pianist, and then I could find no more information about this Palestinian pianist. It always puzzled me.

http://cosmos.ucc.ie/cs1064/jabowen/IPSC/php/authors.php?auid=406 Wadie Said, son of Edward Said, was an attorney employed as a law clerk in the federal court system in New York. He is (2004) Assistant Federal Public Defender, Tampa, Florida.

http://www.palestinecenter.org/cpap/pubs/20000406ib.html “The Palestinian Refugees‘ Right of Return Under International Law,” by Wadie Said

http://www.palestinecenter.org/cpap/pubs/20000524ib.html “May 24: The Status of Palestinian Refugees In Lebanon,” by Wadie Said

http://www.peuplesmonde.com/article.php3?id_article=279 (samedi 25 juin 2005) The article, by Wadie Said, Edwards son, appeared as an afterword to From Oslo to Iraq, and we are indeed honoured and proud to host Wadie on the pages of Al-Ahram Weekly : …Indeed, it still pains me to remember that in his last full day of consciousness and alertness, prior to succumbing to his illness, my father was overcome by emotion because he felt that he had not done enough for the Palestinians. All present at this extraordinary scene were dumfounded : if Edward Said had not done enough for Palestine, then what have we done ? That will have to be answered by the present and coming generations, but our overwhelming sense of loss is matched by our immense affection and gratitude for his trailblazing example.

http://www.standwithus.com/news_post.asp?NPI=1029 (November 4, 2006) As taxpayers, parents, alumni and donors, we must oppose the appointment of Wadie Said to the WS law faculty. Please join us…

JIWON:

What the heck… What if he is unqualified? What if his qualification is finally choked by the StandWithUs’ slanderous smear campaign? I just hope they find a reasonable solution.

No matter what will happen in his future, his professional career was exactly what I wanted to find from Divan graduates: After finishing their academic courses, they manage their professional life with a hearty memory of who was sitting next to whom while playing in the Divans. Isn’t that fun to imagine? Why don’t I consider a musician as their professional job? No one will play better than the concertmaster Barenboim until this mama’s boy finds a job in perhaps the BPO, where this papa’s boy finally has a good opportunity to compare maestro Barenboim with other hot shots, who studied music in orthodox but modern ways. What about others and how old are they? Will soon be well over thirty. The wannabe ensemble performers, who still can find their job neither in their country nor in Barenboim’s Berlin. Considering specific training, which a prospective soloist receives from his parents before twenty, this is the worst way for a Lion King to learn how to survive in this harsh society. My least favorite way, as well.

So… My only problem with another Said or Barenboim’s Divan is that I cannot find Barenboim’s opinion from the articles written by Wadie and Najla Said: “It is an orchestra for understanding.”

Even if Said’s own son and daughter only have anger, hurt, and terror in their hearts, instead of understanding, I cannot blame them. I still hope all the Palestinians to be able to selectively kill their enemies if the suicide bombing is their only choice left.

Then why is it still my concern?

http://www.palestinechronicle.com/printstory.php?sid=052906223424 (May 29, 2006) Mulham Assir: Just Say No to Zionism: Edward Said, a great music connoisseur, forged a friendship with Barenboim and appreciated his gestures of “solidarity” but never shared his “good Zionism” views.

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/entertainment/news/20060611p2a00m0et010000c.html Director retraces footsteps of Palestinian thinker in new documentary: “Edward believed that a separation between people cannot be a solution to issues that separate people,” Miriam, Edward’s widow, said at a recent film launch in Tokyo. “He has left us a very complex legacy which we must build on.”

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=10&categ_id=4&article_id=72982 “Said was a musician in the deepest sense of the term,” says Barenboim, who with Said co-founded the East-West Diwan orchestra as a bridge between young Arab and Israeli musicians. “He understood that in orchestral music you must integrate all the orchestra’s elements.

JIWON:

I still couldn’t find the exact words from Barenboim about “solidarity or “good Zionism” views. Not to mention his specific answer to Mrs. Said’s specific interview. I only found Barenboim’s insisting his friendship with Palestinians and criticizing the wrong Jews, while Said’s widow dreams of a specific future of Said and Barenboim’s Palestine.

Let’s hope that late Said understood IT; that in orchestral music you must integrate all the orchestra’s elements.

Let’s just hope that Said’s ghost listens to his Divans exactly the same way as I do and throws critical comments to his paid conductor, who should be blind, deaf, and dumb whenever he stands in front of Said’s musicians and Barenboim’s son, all of whom want to end up their life as professional musicians.

It’s time to finish.

Story 1: Jacobs Theory

… 

To be continued…

Sincerely yours,

Jiwon

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